I’ve often wondered about forgiving . . . . To forgive is to let that person know that you have accepted the sorrow for what they have done or said to hurt you. It’s forgetting this deed they have committed and not [willingly] bringing it up again. When you forgive, it’s to show that you hold no grudge or ill will against any wrongdoings against that person. It’s the lack of further discussion. It’s letting go and moving on.
It took me some time to realize what forgiving actually was. I simply didn’t see the point in it all. It’s not like the simple act of it could possibly undo what was done or help me in any way . . . . right?
Forgiving shouldn’t mean to forget the act at all. It in no way lessens or justifies the wrong committed. It isn’t excusing or bypassing what’s been done. Forgiving is, of course, not easy to do; especially if this person was close to you. When we don’t forgive or refuse to forgive, it brings our bitterness into our relationships and experiences. Many of us (myself included) have become so en-dwarfed within the wrong, that we can’t enjoy ourselves any longer.
But when you forgive someone, have you really “forgiven and forgotten?” Or is it even worth forgiving this person for what they’ve done? Forgiving brings to you, what, closure? It’s actually been proven, though, that it brings us better physical (and mental) health. I’ve experienced the change from refusing to forgive and being a forgiver. Up until recently, I never honestly forgave a single soul.
April 12th, 2009 at 8:06 pm
Maria! You have no idea how proud I am of you! I always love reading your beautiful poems. Your strength never ceases to amaze me. I’m really glad I get to call you my friend. I still have trouble with forgiveness, but I have to remind myself about all of the things that I’ve been forgiven for. If people can put up with me and forgive me, then why can’t I do the same in return?
April 6th, 2009 at 8:19 pm
You are one amazing young lady. Some people go through their entire life without grasping this lesson. Forgiving is one of the most difficult issues we face in our lives.And I truly believe that we never fully master it. Only Jesus is capable of this. Love you so much
April 6th, 2009 at 3:42 pm
Good blog! Forgiveness takes time. Each situation is different. I have forgiven people for doing very, very bad things. People wonder how I can do it. I do it for my peace of mind and I realize they’re human too. Maybe doing the best they can too. I’ve been physically hurt and emotionally hurt. For me, it’s easier to forgive the physical hurt (odd).
Not everyone can forgive but you’re right, it brings better health both physical and mental. It’s also a sign of maturity and wisdom. A lot of people never get there.